Question 1

When do I need to take help regarding my relationships?

Accepted Answer

You need to start taking help or start talking about taking help when you feel that you don't feel happy, safe or comfortable in your relationship. If you are realizing signs that your relationships is causing stress, anxiety and is affecting your mental health, your workplace and social life, you should seek help as soon as possible. You need to immediately seek help, if you feel unsafe and if you are being subjected to abuse.  
To read about unhealthy relationships and its signs you can check this blog post. 
You can also reach out to us for help.

Question 2

What are some signs of an unhealthy relationship?

Accepted Answer

There are multiple signs of an unhealthy relationship, which doesn't always involve physical abuse. It maybe not putting in as much effort into the relationship, violating and disregarding boundaries, not providing support when asked for, neglecting psychological/medical needs. More serious ones could be controlling who their partner meets, wears etc, limiting contact of the partner with their friends and family, controlling their finances, possessiveness, jealousy etc. 
Read more about unhealthy relationships.

Question 3

What qualities do good/healthy relationships have?

Accepted Answer

A good and healthy relationship have many signs that you can look for. Both parties seem happy and growing as individuals, there are fights but are resolved, good and open communication, each of the partner's needs are met by the other, there is emotional intimacy and physical (when applicable), they give space to each other when asked for and they tackle challenges as a team, presence of commitment, mutual care and love.

Question 4

What is codependency in relationships?

Accepted Answer

There are two types of dependency in relationships: Codependency and interdependence. Interdependence is healthy where both partners depend on each other certain needs, with healthy boundaries and independent spaces for each other. Codependency on the other hand is where there is excessive dependence on your partner. You might need constant validation, you might be deriving your self-esteem/ worth and identity from this. All partner's need is taken care of; mostly at the expense of your own needs (self-sacrifice). Saying no and drawing a boundary is difficult because you fear it might upset them or to avoid a fight. There is fear of abandonment and people pleasing behaviors (crossing your personal boundaries to please your partner).

Question 5

My child does not listen to me at all. What do I do?

Accepted Answer

This is a very common issues that most parents deal with. There are a lot of aspects behind a child/adolescent not listening. It could be a form of rebellion, where rules are too rigid with no room for finding a mid ground (do it because I said so). After a point when it gets too much, they do not care anymore. Its not to say that rules should not exist, it means that certain rules have to be firm and others can have a mid ground through open and calm communication. It could also be that, there were never rules or breaking rules had consequences which were not properly enforced, so they got away with it. There could be others as well. You can reach out to us for any queries.

Question 6

My partner doesn't understand my needs, what do I do?

Accepted Answer

Our needs in a relationship are very important. Before we move into what to do about it, its important to see if you have communicated these needs calmly and clearly to your partner. If you have it is then important to communicate that certain things are important for you and hear your partner out. You can either communicate assertively and work on it together or you can do it with the help and guidance of a counsellor. 
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Question 7

What is a good way to communicate with your partner?

Accepted Answer

A balanced form of communication is neither passive nor aggressive. Its assertive, clear and calm. If you wish to communicate something with your partner, start with 'I statements' such as 'I felt, I hoped, I would like' followed by what you would like or what you don't want your partner to do. For Ex: "I felt hurt when you dismissed how I was feeling yesterday. I would like if you could listen to me and try to understand next time." Avoid statements like "you hurt me" or "you did -----".

Question 8

Why is adolescence such a hard time for parent and child relationship?

Accepted Answer

Adolescence as we know is usually a time of lot of physical changes which impact moods. Psychologically adolescence is time for identity formation, knowing their values, morals, beliefs etc. They are trying to find their space in the world and their group of people, moving towards independence. Although it might get chaotic and may feel like they are moving away from you, it is healthy. As parents, its helpful to listen and understand where they are coming from. To give them space to understand themselves. Certain boundaries must be firm and certain things negotiable. The idea is to balance through two way communication. Nobody and especially adolescents don't take well to rigid demands. Calm communication, listening to understand can go a long way to maintain the relationship. You can visit the blog post to understand more. 
We can help you navigate through adolescence, please reach out to us.

Question 9

My children feel I don't understand them, what do I do?

Accepted Answer

Usually during adolescence, they may feel like nobody understands them in general. If that is not the case, then it might be important to notice how you are responding when your children come to you. With so many other things on your mind, you might just listen for a while and move on. Or if you are listening to them, most parents in our experience jump straight to problem solving and advice. They miss the crucial step of showing empathy and asking more questions to understand better. This shows children that, you are validating their distress and trying to understand their perspective. Sometimes children just express for venting, meaning they just want you to listen with care, empathy and understanding. 
If you need help with parent-child relationships, you can reach out to us or chat with us.

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